2019 Wrap Up

Okay, this is totally last minute and unplanned. Which is totally not like me, right?!  But hell, we’re going into a new year and I would be totally remiss if I didn’t hit you with a summary of the happenings of 2019!

Let’s start with this—I love writing.  There’s something about taking an hour or two to just sit down and word vomit all over a word doc that really gets me going.  But I haven’t been making as much time for it as I would like.  Mostly because it’s hard to block out 1-2 hours at a time with my crazy life.  I find I do my best writing when I can sit down for a couple of hours at a time—not the 10 or 20 minutes here and there.  I really would like to be more consistent with my blog posting.  (Let’s add that to the goals for 2020 list, shall we?!).

So I love to write, but what I am truly passionate about is sharing.  I could just as easily of made my blog private so that no one could read it and it would just be for me.  But something was telling me that I needed to make it public.  That I needed to share my story.  That it would beneficial not just for others, but for me, as well to put myself out there.  It’s one of the most cathartic things I’ve ever done.  I feel better after I share my blog posts.  I feel like I don’t have to hide behind whatever I wrote about anymore because I just threw it out to the entire worldwide web to see.  So, yeah, I should do more of this.

Anyway, before I digress any further, let’s chat about 2019!  Another year of ups, downs, lessons learned, comfort zones stretched, difficult decisions, exciting adventures, and more.  I like to use the time between Christmas and New Years to reflect.  Not just on the things that didn’t happen, but all the amazingness that did.  Because things never work out exactly as planned.  In fact, usually things end up working out way better than we could imagine if we just surrender to the fact that we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be at every given moment. (I know it’s a lot easier said than done!)

Here’s a little recap of this year… I

*had my first real relationship since separating from Randy

*joined a mastermind group

*did a soft launch of my coaching business

*ran a 15k

*started caring less and less about what people think of me

*read 12 different books about personal growth, mindset, and business

*made amazing connections with people that I only know through the social media world

*took over 150 barre classes to join the 250 barre club

*vacationed in Hawaii

*survived another year of parenting a 4 year old and 2 year old

*potty trained Alex (oh no wait, that didn’t happen, she still shits her pants) #2020goal

In addition to these accomplishments, I also learned some big lessons.

The first is to always stay true to what feels right in my heart.  I can’t, and I won’t, compromise my integrity for anything.  I don’t always get it right, but I try extremely hard to always do what feels right in my heart in every moment.  This year challenged me in ways that I never thought possible in that department. It caused me to have fights with people I love, be called out by people who I consider close friends and made me realize that being a professional and a leader is not always easy.  There were times I felt lost and lonely.  But it reminded me that, as a leader, I want to be trusted that I always have everyone’s best interests at heart and respected that I know what I’m doing and that I lead with integrity.

On the flip side of all of that, I am continually reminded that we’re all just doing the very best we can.  At least that’s what I believe to be true.  I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be (at least not anymore 😉).  But the truth is, there’s a lot of gray area in life.  And coming from someone who grew up only seeing black and white, I get that there’s a lot of discomfort in coming to that realization.  But once you do, it makes life a whole lot easier.  We all screw up.  We all make crappy decisions.  We all act out of anger, fear, frustration, jealousy, resentment, etc.  But once you realize that you do all of that, it makes it whole lot easier to forgive, forget, and move on when others do too.  It’s not always easy, but I’m telling you right now, it’s made my life a million times better.  It allows me to accept people for who they are, even if I don’t always agree with them.  And to put my guard down and be more open and honest with people.  And most importantly, it’s allows me to put the past in the past and always look towards the future.

I also learned that every time I push myself outside my comfort zone, I survive. I know, that sounds a little anticlimactic but for me it’s HUGE.  Joining a mastermind group with 50 other women was really big for me.  When I was in LA in October, I felt awkward and intimidated.  And not at all from a business perspective—I’m totally OK with the fact that we’re all on our own paths and at different places in our career and that some people are “ahead” of me.  I’m talking from a personal level.  I rather be in a room full of 50 middle aged men in business suits than a group of 25 women that are my age.  And I know exactly where it stems from.  Two words: Middle. School.  (I see you all shaking your heads in agreement).  I felt COMPLETELY lost in middle school.  I had no idea who I was or where I belonged.  And I felt uncool.  Shit happened.  And apparently the wounds are still open at times.  But I won’t let it stop me.  I continue to push myself and do things that make me a little uncomfortable.  Because like I said, every time I do, I survive AND become a little more confident for the next time around.

Lastly, I wanted to share some of the things that I’ve adopted as my guiding principles for life.  I remind myself of these things when I’m not feeling motivated or I’m just in a funk.  Nothing fancy or sophisticated here, just some cute little life nuggets:

*always stay in action

*be as consistent as possible

*be open to learning

*adopt the mindset that if you can see it, it can be your’s. 

With that, I’m saying PEACE OUT to 2019… and how you doin’? to 2020!  Can’t wait to make this my best year yet!

2 thoughts on “2019 Wrap Up

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